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MARCH MOVIE MADNESS

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Directed By:
Mary Lambert

Starring:
Dale Midkiff, Fred Gwynne, Denise Crosby and Brad Greenquist

Rated R
Genre: Horror
Format Used: Netflix DVD
Contains: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence

Also Known As:
Pet Cemetery (USA) (orthographically correct title)
Stephen King's Pet Sematary (Philippines: English title)(poster title)

THE PLOT:

The Creed family moves into a nice large house, by an open highway with huge mother truckin' semis racing past. The pet cat gets killed by one of those semis, strange that the cat didn't get squased by the semi, but strangely he was just fine, just dead. So a neighbor tells a story of a indian burial ground near the Pet Cemetery and they bury the cat there.

What he forgot to mention is anything buried in that cemetery comes back evil. And what a surprise, the cat comes back evil. Then while playing with a kite, his three year son Gage is killed by a truck.

Not learning his lession from the cat, and can't let go of his son. Louis buries Gage in the same place and what a pucking surprise, Gage comes back to life as a horrible monster that kills his mother.

ZEDD'S OPINION:

I'm sorry, there have been a lot of stupid characters in the history of books and movies. But this moron has got to take the cake. Listen to my reasoning on this. First, the house. Only an incredible idiot would move into a house by an open highway in front without a fence or guard rail or anything like that. In my book Lou might as well thrown Gage in front of that Semi. Secondly he should have just let go, his son is gone and after the cat came back evil only a complete metal patient would do it again. I mean what the hell was he thinking? "Well, the cat came back twisted and evil, but I'm sure it'll work this time." Lastly, when the undead Gage kills his wife Rachel, you can guess what this bonehead does next. Now, let's talk about the title, SEMATARY? That's not how you spell it, I'm sorry Mister King, but you can't re-spell words to suit your story. It doesn't work that way. Plus, I have had the unfortunate luck to run into cats that has been run over by cars and trucks, normally they are flatter then pita bread, even once. Now, the effects and the cast does a great job considering the nonsense given to them and Steven does do a pretty good job. But there are too many blunders to really recommend it. 1 STAR.

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VOLTRON'S OPINION:

I agree with you on the bad ending and the intellengence of this Lou guy. I mean, after the cat and his son. What the hell was going through his so called mind then. "DUH, Third times the charm." Anyone whose been reading my reviews all these years should know I cannot stand bad endings, especally as an excuse to leave it open for a sequel. This time, there was no need for it. The burial ground was still there, we know what it does, so what the hell? Instead of trying to resurrect dead son, which he should have known smelled of bad idea, he should have seen sueing that truck driver who was obviously going way to fast. I don't know if the Steven King book ended like this or not. So I can't say who is to blame for this bad ending, Steven King or whoever wrote the screenplay. But this kind of bad endin is just lazy writing and I give it...THE RASBERRY.

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ON THE POSITIVE SIDE (+ HITS):

+ EFFECTS (The effects are impressive.)
+ SPOOKY (A very creepy flick.)
+ CAST (The cast does a great job with what they were given.)
+ KING FANS (If you are a huge fan of Steven King, then you might like this.)

ON THE NEGATIVE SIDE (- MISSES):

- BAD PARENTS (If they were good parents, they wouldn't have moved into that house to begin with.)
- STUPID FATHER (It's tragic to loose a child, it's stupid trying to resurrect him when you know it will come out bad.)
- WHAT WAS HE THINKING (Lou has got to be really stupid the things to do.)
- SEMATARY (That's not how you spell CEMETERY. I thought a writer would know how to spell.)
- LET GO (Lou needs to know how to let go when a loved one dies, and sue the f***er who was driving the truck who was going to fast.)
- FLAT CAT (When Cat gets hit by a semi, it equals FLAT CAT.)

...AND FINALLY...

- CLIMAX (The climax only shows that this Lou character is mentally challenged or something to think that anything different would happen if he tries to bring back his wife.)

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